Saturday, February 12, 2011

Day 9 of my battle

Happy Saturday everyone!!!!  What a day it was full of wind and rain here. The wind was very cold and I found myself cold ALL day.  I had a long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, and a pair of lounge pants on all day and still had to have a blanket.  Like I posted on my Facebook the only downside of losing weight is losing my insulation (Bob I corrected it here). Inside joke

Last night after Emalynn went down Matthew and I did our workout and it felt good. My body is starting to get used to working out and if I don't it feels oh I don't know sluggish is the best way to explain it I think.  I know its hard to get started but once you get into a routine; and not let your internal conversations get the best of you, you may start to look forward to it. 

So as we are coming close to Valentines Day I am seeing more and more commercials for chocolate, UGH this is my weakness. If one could live off chocolate I so would.   So I am having a hard time but I am staying away from all stores and muting or walking away from the TV when such commercials come on. I know I can make it through 3 weeks without chocolate. I know I don't have to give up chocolate but I am choosing to do so for 3 weeks to break the addiction I have with it.  I refusing to let anything control me anymore!  I in life don't usually let anyone control me but for some reason I have let food control me. For someone who is a control freak to have something control them is kinda funny! 

 Why do people sabotage themselves?  Are we afraid of changing for the better?  Afraid of failure so we don't try?  Afraid of disappointing ourselves or someone close to us? We will all fail in our lives its how we pick ourselves up and move on that will be what stays with us and others.  I have failed by gaining this weight so now its time to pick myself up and get it off and show myself that I can succeed.  I have sabotaged myself by saying "oh will eat better tomorrow" or "Ill start working out tomorrow", why because the food controlled me I needed that fix food was my drug.  I am afraid of disappointing myself and my girls by not getting healthy but I cant let that fear control me I have to get healthy for them and most of all for myself.  Changing is the scariest thing, the unknown I think scares all of us. But for me to succeed I have to change. Change my way I look at food, how I eat, why I eat, and how much I eat to make keep this weight off. 

my saying to myself today..... Change is hard but necessary to be healthy 

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